


Stay or leave I Want You Not to Go... But You Did

by Thatbitchoverthere



Series: De and Steve Take the World [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Always Female Dean, Break Up, Doctor Castiel, Doctor Dean, F/M, Female Dean Winchester, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, My First Fanfic, Please Don't Hate Me, Post-Break Up, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 08:12:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2381132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatbitchoverthere/pseuds/Thatbitchoverthere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas live together in New York when the alien invasion. After the invasion Dean and Cas broke up, this is what happend after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay or leave I Want You Not to Go... But You Did

_Maybe different_  
 _But remember_  
 _Winters warm where_  
 _You and I_  
 _Kissing whiskey_  
 _By the fire_  
 _With the snow outside_

De and Cas loved cuddling by their fireplace, Curled around each other in a cocoon of blankets and pillows. Now the memories hurt Deanne to think about.

_When summer comes_  
 _The river swims at midnight_  
 _Shiver cold_  
 _Touch the bottom_  
 _You and I_  
 _With muddy toes_

Cas used to love it when Deanne would pack them food and a bottle of wine and head out in Cas’s jeep heading out to the river at the back of her property. They would take some towels and a big blanket to lie on once they got out of the river. They would swim for all of ten minutes before they would end up laying out on the blankets cuddling, looking up at the stars. De would tell Cas all the myths and legends behind all of the constellations. And even though Cas had heard it many times he would give her all of his attention and soak up every word she said like it was gospel. Now looking up at the stars made Cas want to cry.

_Stay or leave_  
 _I want you not to go_  
 _But you should_  
 _It was good as good goes_  
 _Stay or leave_  
 _I want you not to go_  
 _But you did_

"Fuck you Cas; Get the fuck out of my apartment.” Dean Screamed  
Cas remembered their fight. It was the night he left for good. The fight had started over Cas being upset that Dean was always at work.  
“I’m a fucking Emergency Room doctor, what the fuck do you think I do? Im always going to be on call. I’m the head of trauma of course if theres an accident I’m going to get called in” De yelled!  
“I understand that but why do you always pick up extra shifts. Since the attack on Mahattan you treat our relationship like its the plague. If you want to break up then just fucking tell me don’t avoid me just fucking end it” Cas replied  
“FINE! Fucking leave. Get the fuck out” Dean replied.  
Cas left that night. He packed up his stuff, got in his car and left for good.

_Wake up naked drinking coffee_  
 _Making plans to change the world_  
 _While the world is changing us_

When the attack on Mahattan happened along with the alien invasion Dean, unlike most sane people headed into work and city. The hospital was swamped with panicked civilians and the injured. Cas had already been at work and had been swamped all morning. He had had to round up a few interns and gave them a crash course in anistiology and had run from room to room bouncing between 4 surgery rooms. Dean was on her own in the ER jumping between the trauma rooms. After the attack and the hospital slowed down to its regular pace Dean and Cas decided they need a vacation. They packed up Cas’s jeep and headed out to Deans property in Western New York.

_It was good, good love_  
 _You used to laugh under the covers_  
 _Maybe not so often now_  
 _But the way I used to laugh with you_  
 _Was loud and hard_

After New York De and Cas’s relationship fell to pieces. They could no longer talk without fighting. As the tensions in Manhattan fell the tension between Dean and Cas was palpable. What had once been easy as breathing was now awkward and uncomfortable.

_Stay or leave_  
 _I want you not to go_  
 _But you should_  
 _It was good and good goes_  
 _I want you not to go_  
 _But you did_

Cas did not want to leave after their fight but he did. He regretted it but their story was completed for now, or atleast that was what he told himself. Two months later Dean put in her two weeks notice. She had taken an assignment to go overseas and oversea a huge private emergency room for active service men. She had refused to get any more specific. Cas thought it was a great opportunity but he did not want dean to go, but she did. That was when he realized he had lost her for good.

_So what to do_  
 _With the rest of today’s afternoon hey_  
 _Isn’t it strange how we change?_  
 _Everything we did_  
 _Did I do all I should_

Cas was lost. After Dean and he had split up he realized how much she had changed his life. How much his routine had been altered to fit the woman. Getting back was impossible.

_That I coulda done_

Cas started seeing a therapist after Dean left on assignment. It helped a little, but not really.

_Remember that we used to dance_  
 _And everyone wanted to be_  
 _You and me_  
 _I want to be too_  
 _What day is this?_  
 _Besides the day you left me_  
 _What day is this?_  
Besides the day you went

After six months had passed De came back state side. She visited the hospital saying hi to some of the friends she had kept in contact with. She looked different, happy, De looked happy. Cas was walking down one of the side hallways when De cornered him. She asked him to join her for coffee from the cafe down the street.  
He slowly agreed. They sat down and played the catch up game tiptoeing around the big information. Eventually De dropped the big bomb.  
“I’m getting married.” She said it so casually, unlike any time Cas would even mention the word and De would freak out. It took Cas a minute to process the information.  
“What?” he asked.  
“I wanted to tell you in person before we tell the media later today.”  
“What? No wait, why would you tell the media?”  
“I should have figured you wouldn’t know, I’m dating, well now engaged to Steve Rodgers, the Captain. Really tho, Charlie didn’t tell you, I figured she would have gushed the whole hospital the minute I told her last week.”  
“So your assignment?”  
“Was working with shield, specifically, the avengers. I was the head of medical on the ship.”  
The way the words flew out so easily made Cas want to scream and hurt something. He was pissed, all of the times in their 4 year relationship De had fought every step of the way and now after six months she was ready to marry this assbut.  
“You’re marring Captain America? You?”  
“Yea that’s what I said” De replied shortly.  
Cas cleared his throat and said “Congratulations” in a hushed voice.  
“Thanks, were going to pick up the ring in a little bit.” She said excitedly.  
“How long are you I town for?” he asked.  
“A week here in Manhattan then we are heading to Palo Alto to visit Sam. He knows already but I still want to see him and his new baby. He’s already been married a year and a half. Anyway, after that we leave for our next assignment.”  
“Are you in the field, with him?”  
“No, I’m stuck on the ship waiting for the agents to return, hoping my presence is unnecessary, but I’m rarely that fortunate.”

_So what to do_  
 _With the rest of the days afternoon hey_  
 _Isn’t it strange how we change_  
 _Everything we did_  
 _Did I do all I could_

After another few months or so the wedding invitations came out. Cas got one but decided not to go. He wrote back to dean giving her some bull shit excuse and they both knew it. While they had been friends before they were lovers the strains were still there and the friendship was very difficult at times. Slowly Cas’s life had gotten back to BD or before Dean.

_Remember we used to dance_  
 _And everyone wanted to be you and me_  
 _I want to be too_  
 _What day is this?_  
 _Beside the day you went babe_  
 _What day is this?_

Three years after he and Dean had broken up and a year and six months after De and Steve had gotten married Cas had an accident. He was driving down the express way when a semi-truck lost control and hit Cas’s Jeep. He died on impact. The hospital called Dean, she was still his emergency contact after all these years, and he had no surviving family and no close friends except Dean. De left in the middle of an assignment and hopped on a plane and flew to Cas one last time.  
After a day Steve joined her and they made arrangements for Cas’s body. He had donated all of his internal organs saving countless other lives, just as he would have liked. De had him cremated, and spread his ashes over her property. Once she spread his ashes Steve had to get back to his assignment and De had been given the rest of the month off. She spent the time mourning. While she knew she loved Steve a part of her would always love Cas, he was her first for everything, he was the one who helped De get away from her father and the life he was leading her towards, and as such he deserved a proper remembrance. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading , if you made it this far. comments are appreciated. I own none of the characters, but this little ship started sailing in my head and it needed to come out, so here it is, there will be more works in this series I just have not had the time to sit down and really type them out yet. The song is Stay or Leave by Dave Matthews Band, if you want to look it up, search for a live version, its 100% better that way!


End file.
